The Decline Of The Traditional Family Will Eventually Mess Our Society Up

I grew up in a matriarchal home so obviously, I grew up knowing that women make the rules and that men were bad people who wanted to dim our light. Many years later as a single mother and a daughter to divorced parents, I long for a traditional family. As a woman, I am grateful for the numerous feminist movements that took place and are still ongoing, I am grateful that I can make money, I am educated and my voice can be heard, however with development comes great consequences and the question is, how ready are we?

When people hear “traditional family” most people jump up to women’s defense and argue that women in traditional families suffered abuse, emotional and physical. My greatest fear with the traditional family is the lack of empowerment, it’s having a man batter me up because he provides and lacking respect because he thinks that staying at home and taking care of the kids is super easy, yet it’s one of the hardest jobs anyone could do. We as women and men are at fault for tearing down the traditional family and advocating against marriages and having children. How is it our fault you ask?

Myles Munroe once said “where the purpose is not known abuse is inevitable” how can we all respect one another if for centuries men have always been the ones in command and women deemed weak? The biggest issue is that we don’t know what our purpose is, women think that the sole responsibility of a man is to provide and men think that’s ok as long as they leave the parenting to women. On the other hand, men have been taught to view women as objects that are only meant to cook, clean and please them when need be, stay quiet and look pretty. Our modern society is at war because everyone wants to prove that they can do everything alone, men claim they don’t need women anymore since they are readily available everywhere and women claim that they can make money so they don’t need men anymore. Everyone claims to be at peace with their status, but if that were true, why does depression seem to have increased over the years?

Women now have control over their bodies thanks to legal developments and cultural shifts, and there are movements advocating for same-sex marriages. I am in favour of movements that encourage freedom for humanity, I don’t believe that anyone should be tortured for being who they are, whether I understand their point or not. However, we must look at the results of a free society, the fact is there’s been a reduction in the nuclear family. Cohabitation, one-parent families, and the number of children born outside of marriage have all increased.

Single-parent families are more likely to suffer, as a matter of fact, in America, 80% of all single parents in the U.S. are single mothers and across the board, those families tend to face poverty.

Divorce rates have spiked all over the world and it is said that in our current generation less than 50% of children will spend their entire childhood with their families.

Divorce – by Alex Green – Pexels

I understand that there are so many people who think that these changes are so much better than being in an unhappy marriage or just staying for the kids. These fears indicate that society didn’t get it right from the word go, perhaps if society had seen the need to appreciate women as mothers and wives then we wouldn’t have generations of traumatized women who need to unlearn all the rooky things they were taught. Perhaps if men were taught that their worth was not only tied to providing but also to protecting, loving and being present then we wouldn’t have men that are unreliable and confused about their purpose. I blame religion and the institutions that teach the parts that are more favorable to men particularly.

Before you criticize me for putting religion on the spot, I’d like to confirm that I am a Christian and a true follower of Christ, however, that doesn’t mean that I can think critically. The Bible is a wonderful book, I call it the book of truth but we cannot overlook the fake pastors and prophets who have taken advantage of women by using the same book. Just the other day I was watching a Netflix documentary called “Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey” I was mortified by that society. It’s about a man, Warren Jeffs who managed to push their occultism past the limits. He managed to create a polygamist sect just by using religion. The documentary exposed the horrific existence suffered by many of its residents, including forced underage marriage and pregnancy, incest, and multiple wives to each husband. Do you see a trend here?

Women always get the shorter end of the stick when it comes to such sects and how does religion come into play? They choose to take parts of the Bible that suits them, most people preach about how women must submit to their husbands but people leave out the part where the Bible tells men to love their wives like Christ loved the church. The Bible is quite clear that the woman needs to be loved and the man needs respect, one would think that both ingredients are key for a successful marriage. But, instead, men choose to remind women that their job is to submit and “keep sweet”. I believe ideally the traditional family was meant to not only hold our society together but it was also meant to help us raise functional human beings who didn’t have to wonder why their father is missing or why they have to blend with step-siblings. I am not against the families that are emerging but I can tell you that it is hard, overbearing and sometimes even impossible. I come from a family where we’ve had to blend, and dealt with divorce and single parenting as well and I am still healing from the effects of that.

In countries where the state takes responsibility for the families, the decline of the traditional family has worked to their advantage and disadvantage too. Government dependency has led to a culture where many facets of life are increasingly handled by the state rather than by families. Most of us don’t want to go back to a time when it was the family’s responsibility to take care of the sick and aged. But there is a point at which dependence turns into a crippling obstacle. As more women entered the workforce, the need for daycare rose and without them or nannies existence is inconceivable. Relying on the government to guide us is dangerous because to them it’s just a business so it makes it dangerous. Let’s not forget that the government does not mind that children are mostly left to the care of nannies, school or daycares, after all, when women work that means more money and more money means more taxes.

The collapse of families was written about by a retired psychology professor from New York University. When we explore the connection between marriage and poverty, some of his conclusions are alarming. His research demonstrated that children of divorced or single parents are less likely than children of two-parent families to marry and, if they do, are more likely to divorce after marriage. Cohabiting couples are less dedicated to marriage, he remarked, which is not surprising. Additionally, he discovered that women who live with someone else are more likely to have extramarital affairs and are five times more likely to experience “serious violence” than women who are married.

In my opinion, a traditional family would ideally have the woman work from home while also taking care of her children at least until they’re big enough to go to school. My idea of a traditional home is not a man coming home at 3 am banging on the door drunk, it is a man who comes home on time to have dinner with his family. My idea of a traditional family is having two people work together to ensure that their home is functional, it is two people taking the time and effort to build a foundation that is unshakeable for their children and their wealth. The traditional family needs religion to be their compass, a higher power and a few rules to help govern the home. My perfect traditional family would be able to mix the modern privileges we enjoy with traditional values, this would mean leaving Sundays for family day, having the man provide but also be present, and mothers would have a business or work-from-home plan so that they’re able to add a lot more love to the home because who doesn’t know that behind every successful home there’s a woman and a man who also listens to her?

So, the big bang question! Now that we are here what do we do? The benefits of a traditional family to kids and society should be praised, even though we shouldn’t marginalize single mothers or gay couples. Let’s remind people about the benefits of having a traditional family but most importantly let us remind men and women what their purpose is, men and women should stop acting like there’s stiff competition against each other, instead, we should all be on the same team, improving our mental health, upholding values and morals, helping each other overcome decades of mistakes.