Are You Suing for Child Support for the Wrong Reasons?

Before becoming a mother, I used to think that suing for child support was always as straightforward as men refusing to pay for upkeep and that women in such cases were almost always the victims. Fast forward to a wiser, older me and I’ve noted that people use kids for all the wrong reasons and sometimes parents, especially those who have split are easily able to weaponize their own children. There have been debates whereby people claim that a child born out of wedlock or a child born from a married man should not be supported, I tend to highly disagree, all kids, regardless of where they come from should have access to their basic needs, food, clothing, shelter, education and healthcare and that both parents should contribute to these needs financially especially after separating. Suing for child support becomes necessary when a parent refuses to take care of their child equally or when they are obviously damaging the child’s well-being, so when is suing wrong?

When two people choose to separate, they probably make the mistake of rushing to make certain decisions and most of the decisions made at that time stem from anger, revenge and sometimes greed. It makes perfect sense why two people would be going through some form of emotional turmoil but the biggest problem at this time is the inability to think clearly and then they seek legal counsel. Child support cases are not usually as straightforward as they come with a multitude of variables, from financial disparities between parents to the unique needs and circumstances of the child. While they say that the court will always look out for the best interest of the child two people who fight from an emotional point of view and are not in the best interest of the child would eventually break the co-parenting relationship and the child.

So, what are some of the wrong reasons to sue a parent?

The most obvious one is punishment. This happens in the case where a parent feels like they want to seek revenge so they sue for child support as a way of feeling some type of win. This would be especially unnecessary and evil when you’re sure that your ex-partner might not have been the best partner but was a good mother or father, meaning that they are probably doing what they’re supposed to do but you still feel it’s not enough and you’d rather drag them through the mud but not from a genuine point of view. The disadvantage of this is that you may jeopardize your chances of ever becoming co-parents that work together and might also damage his/her relationship with their child especially if they are aware that you did it out of malice, your child might be forced to choose between both parents yet there’s really no need to.

Do you really need more money or are you seeking support for your lifestyle?

When you’re no longer with your child’s father or mother, it is their responsibility to care for your child but you must be able to separate you and the child. Looking at your child as a way of exploiting the other parent will not only damage your relationship with your co-parent but with time, your child might be bitter especially if you’re using the upkeep to only enhance your lifestyle and not theirs. It is fair that a parent should support all the basic necessities to their best capability but imagine going to court to ask for money if what you’re already getting is more than adequate? This will only put you in a bad light. Of course, the situation is different when you’re suing a complete deadbeat or someone who simply does not want to contribute to their child’s upkeep but even insists on being part of their child’s life but does not want to pay for upkeep. In the end, the court usually looks at the income of both parents and the needs of the child. Courts will not award child support payments that are more than what is necessary to support the child.

Are you using child support as a way of controlling your ex-partner?

Some parents use child support to control the other parent. This is called coercive control, and it is a form of domestic abuse. It can have a devastating impact on the other parent, as it can make them feel trapped and powerless.

There are many different ways that parents can use child support to control the other parent. For example, they may threaten to withhold payments if the other parent does not agree to move to a new location, stop dating someone they don’t like or even as bad as quitting their job. This type of behaviour is wrong, and it hurts the other parent and the child. Children don’t want their parents to fight. They want their parents to love them and take care of them. When parents use child support to control each other, it makes the child feel sad and scared.

Taking your co-parent to court because you don’t want to work is insensitive

When a parent decides not to work, filing a child support lawsuit can be difficult and delicate. Although there may be valid reasons why someone cannot work, such as health concerns or caregiving responsibilities, there are situations where individuals choose not to work intentionally to avoid paying their debts. In such cases, it may be necessary to take legal action to ensure that child support is provided for the child’s needs. However, the legal system must assess the case thoroughly, taking into account factors such as the parent’s ability to contribute financially and whether their decision not to work is a deliberate attempt to evade accountability.

Legal and ethical factors come into play in child support situations. Judges have to consider several things, including the requirements of the kid, the parent’s ability to pay, and the strength of the bond between parents and children. Anger, time, and money can be wasted in lengthy court cases when child support is pursued improperly. Sometimes more cooperative and successful solutions can be found through co-parenting agreements and mediation.

In the case that your co-parent is impossible to work with or you find that you’ve tried all peaceful solutions and they’re still not willing to work with you then you may have to use the courts. If you read this article and you found that you’re suing for your personal feelings and not because it’s what your child truly needs then maybe it’s time to reevaluate and see what else can be done. If you have a willing parent who even though might not be the best partner happens to be a fantastic father or mother, then it’s more than possible to work together to ensure that your child/ren is happy. As long as your co-parent is not abusive mentally, emotionally or physically, there could be a chance of mediation. However, if you know that your current relationship with your co-parent is already bad and damaging your child then do not be afraid of defending your case but from a point of your child’s best interest.