There Are No Rules

There are no rules, only respect for yourself and others: If you can keep this concept near the center of all you do, it makes being happy easier.

It’s really two concepts pulled together. First is ‘no rules.’ If you had no rules, then you would have no expectations of others and thus fewer disappointments. Less disappointments would mean a higher ‘tide’ of True Happiness. ‘No rules’ means that you ‘set’ others free to decide on their own what they will do. By not trying to control others, you save energy and disappointment for yourself, and others will respond with a genuine interest in you… if they really do care about what you are proposing.

That said, humans are not too good with ‘no rules.’ They seem to need some guidance. One of my favorite movie lines is when the main character in the movie KPac is asked why there were no laws on his planet – his answer ‘Every creature in God’s universe knows the difference between right and wrong.’ – Despite that, humans often seem to need more.

So secondly, I add the concept of respect, first for yourself and then for others. A simple example would be that out of respect for yourself, you wouldn’t give yourself drugs that destroy your brain, and certainly, out of respect for others, you wouldn’t give those drugs to anyone else.

Another example could be keeping your room neat. You might make your bed every morning out of respect for yourself, wanting to see a nice bed when you get home in the evening. Out of respect for others, just closing the door to your room should be enough so they do not have to see the mess.

Bonus if you have kids: This combination of no rules and respect goes a long way when being a parent. Before telling your child what to do, consider why you are doing it. Is it out of respect, or just some old rule you thought was right….? I have found kids love this kind of respect. What I used with my kids was a simple concept. I would make a suggestion of something to try to do, like please try to chew with your mouth closed. Then I would add the reason. People will judge you by your table manners. These will be people who you might be meeting at lunch and discussing ideas. And for no good reason, if your table manners are poor, they may think your ideas are too. But if the child has a counter-argument which is as good or better than mine, he/she wins. This has served me well in raising many children/grandchildren.